Don’t SCREAM. Perhaps you’re tempted to use all caps because you want ATTENTION and you want it RIGHT NOW. But that’s annoying, and it could trigger your email filter as spam.
Don’t be afraid to name-drop in a business email. If you’re making a cold call via email in search of a job or some other business help and you were referred by a mutual friend, put that friend’s name in the subject line: “Mindy Martin recommended your design services.”
With bad news, be sensitive and direct. Some people may think “Gus Jones died” is too blunt or cold, so they say something like “Sad news” and then force the recipient to open the email to see what’s going on. Ever gotten an email like that? It feels terrible. You glimpse the subject line on the screen of your phone and panic, wondering what you’re about to learn. It’s better to say something gentle but straightforward, like “Rest in peace, Gus Jones” or “Honoring Gus Jones (1955–2024).”
Make your purpose clear. A subject line saying “Just a reminder” won’t remind your busy friend as effectively as “Reminder: Patty’s party starts at 7 p.m. Friday.” A subject line that says “A request” isn’t nearly as grabbing as “Please edit my terrible draft.”
Don’t be mysterious. A subject line for a political email announced, without context, “We’re wearing the Daddy Badge.” We don’t know what that means, and we don’t want to.
On polishing your professional greeting
A surefire way to get your cold-call email ignored is to open it with “To whom it may concern,” “Happy Monday,” or “Hey!” But avoiding a greeting altogether, even in more informal business communications, could be read as curt or impolite. Here’s how to formulate a greeting that’s polished and professional:
Keep it brief and neutral. “Hi there!” is perfectly appropriate for a brief check-in with a colleague. If you’re writing for solicitation or business development, you should include the recipient’s name: “Hi, Anna” or simply “Anna” will land better.
When in doubt, defer to the more formal. Formality is an indicator of respect, and earning respect is key to building relationships and credibility.
Use the right name and pronouns. If the person has emailed you before, look at how they addressed you, as well as how they signed their message, and follow that. Otherwise, a brief Google or LinkedIn search can likely tell you whether your recipient goes by “Andrew” or “Andy” and whether they use he/him, she/her, or they/them pronouns.
Triple-check that you got all names—all names in the email, for that matter—correct. Misspelling names is a huge faux pas. Especially if their name is in their email address. Especially if you’re emailing to ask them to do something. Like hire you. For editing.
Melissa Harris is founder and CEO of M. Harris & Co., a Chicago-based marketing agency. She serves as an entrepreneur-in-residence at the Polsky Center for Entrepreneurship and Innovation at the University of Chicago and is adjunct professor of entrepreneurship at Chicago Booth. Jenn Bane is a producer and creative director at M. Harris & Co. Excerpted from EVERYBODY NEEDS AN EDITOR: The Essential Guide to Clear and Effective Writing. © 2024 by M. Harris & Co. Reproduced by permission of Simon Element, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. All rights reserved.