Experts including Brené Brown have long espoused that the best leaders are not afraid to be vulnerable in the workplace. And tapping into personal weaknesses has become more valued as a leadership skill in recent years. Many leaders now see the benefit of opening up about their challenges and building stronger connections. This was one of the topics discussed at a fireside chat at the Booth Women Connect Conference earlier this year.
Katie Callow-Wright, former executive vice president of the University of Chicago, spoke with Swati Bharteey-Buck, ’95, cofounder and principal of LeaderStages, a Chicago-based executive coaching and leadership development firm. Callow-Wright shared her experiences on what it means to become an approachable leader by creating space for vulnerability. Bharteey-Buck, who is Callow-Wright’s former executive coach, moderated the discussion.
The longtime colleagues kicked off the session demonstrating the power of connecting through vulnerability by opening up to the audience about their own personal struggles in work and life, including divorce and health setbacks. Here are takeaways from the conversation:
When Callow-Wright was promoted to a new position at the University of Chicago, she found it difficult to open up about what she didn’t yet know to others on her team. Moving to a higher role at the university made her feel like she had to know all of the answers in front of colleagues that she was meeting for the first time.
“I thought that I needed to be much more a serious person, much more closed, and I was afraid that people would see me fall down and fail,” said Callow-Wright, who recently joined Princeton University as executive vice president. In reality, the opposite was true: allowing herself to be more authentic made it easier to make an impact in her new position and develop trusting, long-lasting relationships.
“If you don’t know the answer, just say you don’t know the answer. Say you’ll go find out, but don’t make it up.”
Taking off the know-it-all mask, especially as a leader, can be difficult when others are depending on your expertise. But setting an expectation of always having the right answer leaves little room for mistakes.
Callow-Wright says Bharteey-Buck helped her to take an approach that allows her to tap into her vulnerabilities and acknowledge that she’s not the smartest person in the room, while still projecting confidence. A former superior also gave her advice that she still follows: “If you don’t know the answer, just say you don’t know the answer. Say you’ll go find out, but don’t make it up,” Callow-Wright shared.
“In those moments, ask yourself, is it a reasonable expectation that I should know everything about this?” added Bharteey-Buck. She recommended being compassionate with yourself, rather than trying to compartmentalize your fears.
Making mistakes can be discouraging at first, but it’s also one of the quickest ways to move forward. Approaching these setbacks with a sense of transparency is essential. “If I wasn’t willing to take a risk and maybe fall down and pick myself back up, I wasn’t going to ever progress. . . . That’s part of what I learned along the way,” Callow-Wright said.
Throughout her career, she’s made a point of giving others the permission to try and fail as well. “I always let my teams know that trying and failing is something that is allowable, mistakes are going to be made, and that’s okay,” she added.
“If I wasn’t willing to take a risk and maybe fall down and pick myself back up, I wasn’t going to ever progress.”
Leaders who actively embrace all sides of the problem are more successful and foster a sense of inclusivity and vulnerability within the organization, Callow-Wright suggested. In her own work, that’s meant allowing her teammates to speak up about potential challenges or pitfalls and offer opposing viewpoints.
“Tell me what’s wrong because I want to truly hear what’s wrong with the idea, but also I’m willing to ask the questions and I want people to ask questions of each other too,” she said.
Bharteey-Buck suggested setting aside time in meetings for everyone to discuss why ideas will work, as well as why they won’t. “Reframing can help you better understand multiple perspectives as well as crticial success factors,” she said.
Bharteey-Buck shared an anecdote from earlier in her career, when her childcare fell through. Rather than calling in sick, she decided to bring her toddler to work and be up front about her challenges as a single parent. Knowing when to open up is never clear cut, she told the audience, but in that moment, she knew she had no choice but to be vulnerable. In the end, her team was supportive and chipped in with the toys they had at their desks—squishy balls, a toy car, a Mr. Potato Head.
Callow-Wright said tapping into these types of vulnerabilities makes it easier to build much-needed and deeper connections with people on your team as well as across departments. For leaders, that often means setting an example with your own authentic approach and encouraging those in your network to find their own opportunities to connect. She said effective leaders “have a way of being able to connect with and leverage a variety of people in productive and positive ways.”
The annual Booth Women Connect Conference brings together women with big ideas on leadership and the workplace. Learn more.
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